B*tch You Don’t Love Yourself! 5 Signs You Are Not Being Kind To Yourself

Self-love and self-care are terms that are thrown around a lot these days. They’re more than taking a bubble bath when you’re feeling stressed, or listening to your favorite song.   These are processes that one should regularly engage in – making conscious efforts to be present and kind to the self. Personally, I know I could do a lot better with practicing self-love and self-care, as I am not nice to myself in the slightest (so I’ve been told).

Are you being unkind to yourself? Read 5 signs below, or watch the video above to find out!

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Influenster #GlowVoxBox Unboxing|Court Ess

Hey there everyone! Long time no post 🙂 I know it’s been a while, but I am finally back with some new content. I apologize as always for not posting for such a long time, it’s just that senior year was really (understandably) hectic. Now that I’ve graduated college though, I should have bit more time on my hands since I’m in job search mode to devote to the blog/YouTube. With that in mind, I’m just going to get right into this VoxBox unboxing.  If you do not care to read the post, you can watch the video linked above!

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A Quick Trip To Rhinebeck, NY

This is just a quick post/photo journal highlighting my trip on Saturday March, 25. 

My school offered a trip to Rhinebeck, NY, which is about a 30 minute ride from our campus. We only had to spend $5, and it included transportation, an opportunity to go on a small “hike.”

The weather was pretty crappy in all honesty, so we didn’t get to go on the hike as planned. We were told to just walk around and do as we pleased. With this in mind, this was how the afternoon was spent: 

Pictured below are my housemate, Jamila, and my friend Kaliyah. They were hungrier than I was (since I had breakfast prior to leaving for the trip). We decided to eat at Aroi Thai. It had a really cozy atmosphere, and it looked like a house! Well, it didn’t look like a house, it was a house. 

As I said above, I wasn’t very hungry, so I just got some spring rolls and coconut ice cream with roasted coconut flakes (which was vegan). The spring rolls were really filling, and the sweet chili sauce was great. These ones were filled with rice noodles I believe, as opposed to just vegetables. 

The coconut ice cream was amazing. As I said above, it was vegan (which I appreciated, as I am not consuming dairy). The consistency was really creamy, which I haven’t had from coconut milk based ice creams. Usually the consistency comes off as grainy, but this was nice. It wasn’t as creamy as “normal” ice cream, but it was great. It makes me wonder if they used coconut cream as the base, rather than coconut milk? 

Anyway, the toasted coconut was a great addition, and it added some great texture to the eating experience.

After eating, we walked around some and ended up in this chocolate shop, Krause’s. The stores are based in Saugurties, NY, and there is one other location in New Paltz, NY and this one in Rhinebeck which is about 3 years old. 

I’m not much of a chocolate person, so I didn’t get anything. Kaliyah and Jamila had a great time though 😂 I don’t like chocolate, but everything looked delicious (and smelled great too). It’s all handmade too (in Saugurties).

The last noteworthy thing we did was go to This bookstore. Unfortunately, I do not remember the name, and I’m too lazy to get my receipt for books. 

I thought is was so nice that when you first walked in, right by the cashier, there was a section of books by black authors 🤙🏾 Adjacent to that was another table with feminist books, but I didn’t take a picture of that.

More in the back, but still SUPER VISIBLE was this table with books relating to resisting. I thought that was cool. 

We walked around some and went to some smaller shops and boutiques, but they were really overpriced. This is probably because the items are not massed produced or what may have you, but nah. 

All in all, it’s a cute place to kill a bit of time, but not for a full out, day long excursion. It’s a place where now that I’ve gone once, I wouldn’t go back to just browse…only with the explicit intent to do something or go somewhere specific. 

What in this would you like to do? And where are some places you enjoy going for day trips?

Keep up with me on TWITTER and INSTAGRAM! Also drop your links below so I can check them out 😊


Thoughts| Ethical Living – NOPE

Ethical Living| Not

I wrote this post about me wanting to be a more conscious consumer a couple weeks ago (which you can read here). I recognized certain obstacles to this, and aspects that didn’t account for nuances such as:

  • Privilege
  • Living and breathing capitalism & consumption
  • And social norms (which I didn’t really consider)

The universe is constantly teaching me, and  giving me insight as to how I can open my mind and build every day. This time, assistance arrived in the form of THIS article titled, “Conscious consumerism is a lie. Here’s a better way to help save the world” by Alden Wicker. The article makes points that argue how “Making series of small, ethical purchasing decisions while ignoring the structural incentives for companies’ unsustainable business models won’t change the world as quickly as we want. It just makes us feel better about ourselves.” Now, this was kind of what I started to get at in my post, as this hope was brought about after considering the sociological imagination. I fell into the trap though of not addressing the structural factors, and defaulting to individualistic “solutions.”

The article proposes that we shouldn’t stop making small, green decisions, but we also need to direct those efforts (and dollars) to lobbying, volunteering, and supporting on-ground organizations that combat issues of sustainability. I don’t want to do much summarizing, as I do not want to misconstrue the message. I highly recommend reading though.

What do you think? What are some things you do to become an ethical/conscious consumer?

Keep up with me on TWITTER & INSTAGRAM!




Not Just Sex Project


Hey there everyone, this is a bit different from my usual posts, but this is very important to me, so I would appreciate if you read and participated! I, along with five other fellows from across the country, have been working really hard on projects that challenge norms that can lead to gender based violence on our individual college campuses. You can read about us HERE, and see some projects that have launched already by fellow Cash HERE & fellow Molly HERE

Not Just Sex

Hey there!

My name is Courtenay Spalding, and I am a senior at Marist College. Since September, I have been working with Breakthrough U.S. (click to read more about them), an organization dedicated to ending gender based violence, particularly in college life.

Here’s What My Project Is:

I am interested in challenging the expectations and liberations around hookup culture & well being through storytelling, social media, and art. College, and my experience with hooking up has revealed a lot about my sexuality, my understanding of my identity, and how that has played into my mental health.

I want to hear stories of who’s participating in it, the rules, and the outcomes, but also who’s not participating, not participating in hooking up, and more of the nuances involved (how this plays out for different sexual identities and racial minorities, how social capital impacts interaction with hooking up, etc).

Basically, I want to talk to you about the norms surrounding hooking up, and how they may (or may not) affect you!

Here’s How You Can Get Involved:

  • You can submit your stories via Google Form (please click link) along with a photograph or illustration you feel best represents your truth. I want to keep the power in your hands, so if you do not want your story associated with a photograph of you that’s okay.
  • Spread the word! Tell your friends about this (you can forward this message) and have them submit their stories. The more the better!

  • Follow Not Just Sex Project on Facebook and Instagram (linked off)

  • Keep me in check: As I stated above, I don’t want to erase anyone’s narratives, so if there are ways I can improve this, let me know!

Can’t wait to hear from you!

Keep up with the project on FB and IG @NotJustSexProject!

The Belko Experiment Thoughts + Psychology Experiments

Belko Experiment Thoughts

**Contains spoilers. Continue at your own discretion**

So I saw The Belko Experiment over the weekend, and was I impressed? No. Was I disappointed? No. The plot is one we’ve seen before (a la Battle Royale, The Circle, Lord of the Flies, etc), so I wasn’t expecting to walk into this movie blown away by some novel and innovative plot. It was interesting to see how no matter the circumstance, the same end always prevails with this genre of film.

I won’t go into too many specifics, simply because we know how these types of movies play out. The only thing lost by me providing a synopsis is the guessing game of who dies, when, and how. I do want to share a few thoughts that came up during the movie between my boyfriend and I though:

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I’m Bald

I chopped off all of my hair. All of it. Why you may ask? I’m not sure. I said I wanted something different, I said I wanted a release, I said I was tired of having to “deal” with my hair. Each one of these may be true, and none of them might. I might be going through something, but whatever. It’s gone, I’m bald.

Wanna see the new cut? Click “read more.”


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Ethical Living| Think With Me

Want to try to live more ethically, or at least be more intentional about the things I do in my every day life. I’ve been slowly trying to do this, but as I begin this transition out of college and into “the real world,” I want to practice holding myself more accountable for my decisions.

In a piece we were assigned for my sociology course titled, “The Forest, the Trees, and the One Thing.” In it, there is much discussion about systems and parts, and how people participate in systems without being parts of them. Part of this piece also touches on how we can kind of dictate how we participate in a system while it’s acting upon us, even if we can’t necessarily separate ourselves from it. 

It is with this in mind that I want to embark on this task. Not from a self-righteous standpoint or anything, just simply because I know I am part of a network of people, and if we collectively acted in ways that took others into account, the world could be a better place.

Two places I want to start with this are: clothing and food. I briefly mentioned how I am trying to minimize my wardrobe (and have been for some time), but I want to extend that to getting my clothes from places that treat their workers well, and that use materials that aren’t harmful or processes that are sustainable. The same goes for my food. Part of these thoughts stem from reading “Where Am I Wearing?” back in high school (I was gifted this book by my AP Human Geography teacher – she was so nice), and I was also given “Where Am I Eating?” by the same author at the conclusion of the year. 

Do you all know of any grocery stores or places that sell food that is ethically sources? Both from animals and the workers? I tried looking this up but only found articles and lists that takes about the food itself…nothing about the people that harvest or raise it.

Well, these are just some thoughts. I’m always caught in this bind though because cost factors into things for me personally (broke + in college + limited transportation etc), but I do want to try to exercise good karma including the things I place in and on my body.

Enough rambling though!


Keep up with me on TWITTER & INSTAGRAM!

Fall 2016 Semester Goals: Recap| Courtenay’s Beauty Box

Hey hey hey.

In trying to keep up with posting semi-regularly, here is another post touching on the semester. This time, I want to recap my Fall 2016 Semester Goals to see which ones I achieved (and which ones I fell short on).

If you’re interested in seeing if I succeeded, keep reading!

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Spring Semester Goals| Courtenay’s Beauty Box

As I write this, it is Saturday, and I return to campus tomorrow for my final semester of my undergraduate career. As I’ve stated before, going back to school is never really something that is exciting for me, but it’s the end! Since I am in this period of transition (moving into “adulthood”), I have some goals I would like to achieve. 

If you’re interested in learning what they are, read ahead!

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