Self-love and self-care are terms that are thrown around a lot these days. They’re more than taking a bubble bath when you’re feeling stressed, or listening to your favorite song. These are processes that one should regularly engage in – making conscious efforts to be present and kind to the self. Personally, I know I could do a lot better with practicing self-love and self-care, as I am not nice to myself in the slightest (so I’ve been told).
Are you being unkind to yourself? Read 5 signs below, or watch the video above to find out!
1. Make No Mistakes!
One prominent sign of a lack of self-love is not allowing yourself to make mistakes/beating down on yourself when you do make mistakes. For me, this manifests at times when I don’t feel qualified enough to do something in the first place. Since I may not feel “good” enough to do x thing, when I mess up, it confirms that. So everything works in a self-fulfilling cycle.
It’s okay to make mistakes! It’s okay to admit you make mistakes and analyze them to improve. NO ONE is perfect, and it’s unhealthy to hold yourself (or anyone) to that standard. I’m definitely not saying to not have ambition, but don’t be afraid to try things and mess up. Experiences are enriching, and you miss out on a lot by not not even trying in the first place.
2. You Are Your Own Worst Critic (in every way)
Another tell-tale sign of not being kind to yourself is critiquing everything and anything that is *you*. What do I mean? You always have something small to say about your body. Whenever you do something or behave in a certain way, there is always some kind of negative comment (even if it’s small) associated with it. You minimize your accomplishments. There are a number of ways this one manifests itself.
There’s a difference between being humble, and just not hyping yourself up because you don’t think you’re worth it. If it’s the latter, that’s no place to be! People hype themselves the hell up for doing much less!
3. Holistic Neglect
This one isn’t inherent to low self-esteem/self-love. I think that in a society like ours that praises high productivity and fast-paced living (especially here in NY), it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. This can mean not eating enough (or not nourishing your body with healthy food), not drinking enough water, not sleeping enough, not taking the time to use the bathroom, not taking breaks, etc.
Basically, this sign encompasses not paying attention to the day to day things your body needs. Even if you are someone who is pretty confident, still check in to make sure you’re not neglecting basic needs!
4. Not Speaking Up
This may be an odd sign to some, but when you think about it, it makes sense. Having trouble speaking up for yourself can stem from two places: 1) not thinking your opinions and/or thoughts have value, and 2) wanting approval.
In the case of value, you might not share your thoughts with others because you simply do not think they are important or add anything to conversation. This can take place everywhere from discussions with friends to meetings. Obviously, there are repercussions to this. In the case of social circles, you not sharing your thoughts or opinions can mean agreeing with values that are not your own, or supporting something you may not necessarily believe (whether that be a fundamental idea or an opinion of someone). In the case of the latter, you may worry that sharing your opinion will cause a person to cut themselves off from you. This one is a bit more alarming, since you should never be afraid to share your opinions with those you care about or who seemingly care about you. Not being able to share opinions with loved ones and friends also sets the foundation for how you think you should be treated by others.
5. Not Having/Knowing How to Manifest Dreams
One of the last signs that you are not kind to yourself is not having dreams and/or not knowing how to set those dreams in motion. This is a culmination of the aforementioned signs, as you won’t have ambition if you don’t think you are worthy of achievement, or able to achieve anything. You may limit yourself as far as what types of opportunities you take, and end up feeling trapped or stuck as a result.
All in all, those are 5 signs I think demonstrate you aren’t being kind to yourself! What do you think? Do you experience any of these? Also take the time to read the article linked below, and share any other signs you may exhibit (and what you can do about it)!
Read the article that aligned with my signs (and check out some more) HERE