It’s Tuesday. I move into school Sunday. I’m browsing my classes Facebook page, and after closing out of Facebook, feel the all to familiar slow creeping pressure rise up my throat. My heartbeat is racing, and I feel like I can’t breathe.
This, and usually bad stomach aches and nausea as move in day creeps closer occur every year. Why? I don’t know where down the line, or if it was just from the beginning, but my school and having to be there give me an immense amount of anxiety. Three years down, and it still doesn’t go away. Once I’m there, I am able to quell it I’ve learned by coming home on the weekends (or at least going to the city for the weekend to see friends from home), but it still never goes away. If I am unable to get away for the weekend, and stay for too long, I become enveloped in a feeling of despair and loneliness.
I have friends, so I am not sure still what produces this feeling. Still haven’t figured out what to do about it either.